January 31, 2009

Love you, Tones!


Ever since I heard the shocking news of my Aunt Toni’s passing on Tuesday, I’ve been filled with memories of her wonderful, constant and loving presence in my life. Toni was always there for me, encouraging me, supporting me, and loving me. She always made me laugh – there was nothing better than sharing a good laugh with Toni! (“What a riot!” she’d always say.) As Dan says, Toni was a great friend to have. Her curious nature and easy going personality always made me think that there are no strangers in Toni’s world; just friends she hadn’t met yet. She had a gift for making people feel loved, welcomed, and fortunate to be part of her family or intimate circle. She always saw the very best in everyone.

I have years of memories of Auntie Tones at our house on Logan Street, Castle Beach, the annual Fairs of Santa Cruz (both Spring and County), all those 70's shag haircuts she gave me, Harvey West, tooling around town in the backseat of her red VW bug (I still remember the great smell of that car), Pearl Street…How many birds did Toni and Dan have on Pearl? I remember the day Jake flew off of Toni’s head as she stepped out their back door. Poor Toni chased her beloved bird down the street, but he didn’t come back. Years later, Mauricio and I went to our local bird store in San Francisco. I wanted a cockatiel just like Toni’s Jake. Somehow we walked out of there with a parrot. I remember how excited Toni was for us saying, “Ooh! You got a hook bill!”

I remember Toni’s love of music: The Beatles, Buddy Holly, The Rolling Stones, Roy Orbison, Carole King, and of course, The King – Elvis. Toni always had so much love for us. I always felt her encouragement and support growing up. Carrie and I used to choreograph dances and put on shows for the family, where Toni was always front and center. I remember Toni getting a particular charge out of us “doin’ the time warp” to our well-worn Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack record.

When I was at Santa Cruz High I wanted to continue taking Spanish classes, but due to a schedule conflict I opted to take an early morning X period class at Harbor High. I would get up early and ride my bike to class, which was fine in the fall, but as soon as winter set in, riding in the cold, pre-dawn darkness wasn’t much fun. My mom worked early mornings, so she couldn’t give me a ride to school. Toni offered to do it. She lived around the corner from us, so every morning I would walk over to her house, knock softly on her bedroom window, and she would get out of bed to take me to class before she even got ready for work herself. I was always so, so grateful to her for doing this for me. And it wasn’t until this week that I realized that if Toni hadn’t done this, who knows? I may not have gone on to major in Spanish in college. I wouldn’t have studied abroad in Costa Rica. I wouldn’t have met and married Mauricio. And we wouldn’t have little V! So, thank you Auntie Tones for all those early morning rides! Valentina thanks you too!! And to use one of 3-year old Valentina’s favorite phrases, I miss you all the time, Tones. We are all going to miss you like crazy.

I've always loved this photo of Toni and me. Must have been 1969.

My mom and Toni in January 1970.


Uncle Dan and Toni enjoying a laugh in 1974.



Toni and Dan going somewhere fancy in 1974.



The four sisters: Toni, Catherine, Jan & Cathy in 1975.




My mom and Toni in Hawaii 1977.




Hawaiian babe. 1977.



Toni looking very cool and beautiful on a Hawaiian lanai in 1977.



Another favorite photo of Toni.



The sisters with Grandma Nina in 1982.




Toni, Cathy, and Jan in 1984.




Auntie Tones on her wedding day with her loving nieces Kelly, Robin, Carrie, and Tara.



Toni, Dan, and Jan.






Jan, John, and Tones on my mom & John's wedding day. 1990.





Dan and Tones 1992.



Jan, Grandma Nina, Cathy, Toni





Auntie T with Baby Valentina




V, Tones, Grumps, and Mau at Carrie's school's 2008 Halloween carnival.


Valentina and Tones sharing some cotton candy.

14 comments:

  1. Kelly This is GREAT! I miss Toners already. Thanks for making this and sharing your memories. I loved spending time on Pearl street playing in the back yard, checking out the birds, and yes doin' the time warp! We were lucky to have such a hip aunt Toni. I loved how much she loved Valentina and lit up when little V came into the room. I remember the feeling myself, she had a way of making everyone feel special. I don't think Valentina will ever forget her 'hungry fingers". I'll never forget Toni's hard core laugh! I can hear it right now.
    xo Carrie

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  2. Kelly.... this was such fun seeing the photos and your stories. I had the best life being her sister and seeing her every day of my life. Before I sat down to view your blog I put on the Roy Orbison CD I got from Toni and had a great cry. Not even knowing that you would comment on her music that you remembered. She helped me raise you and Carrie. Ahh.... I can hear her great laugh now too.... She was special and yes a great friend to have. I love Toni.... Mom

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  3. What a sweet page of memories. I would love to share an hysterically funny "poem" that Toni wrote back in, I think, 1984 or '85 after we took a trip to Visalia for a business meeting/class. Also, I have a couple of great photos I would love to add with your permission. I miss my dear friend so very much. Love to you all. Kate

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  4. Great blog for Toni Kelly. I'm sorry for everyone's loss... Toni's spirit and legacy will live on through her loved ones. I will always remember her warmth, kindness, and acceptance of me. Her praise of my love for her niece always made me feel accepted and loved by her. I will miss her warmth and kindness of the heart... Albert (nephew in-law)

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  5. I really enjoyed looking at the photos and reading your thoughts on this blog, Kelly. What a lovely tribute to your lovely and wonderful aunt. I have many fond memories of time spent at the house on Logan Street with you, Carrie, Cathy and Toni. I especially remember her laughter and her warm personality. Lots of love to all the family from Louise

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  6. Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear that Toni has passed away. Thank you for sharing these memories. She was truly special and I have very fond memories of her. I can still hear her laughter eventhough it's been years since I last saw her. Lots of love and hugs to you all from Nina (from Denmark)

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  7. Toni was so cool! I'm sure you miss her to pieces. I know how I feel about my aunts and I'm sure this is how you feel about Tones. I see how wonderful she was in all of your photos.
    Hold onto all of your wonderful memories. We will always our memories! It's nice that you did this blog in her honor.
    xo, Valerie

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  8. Kelly - finally figured out how to do this.

    Toni was sort of an idol to me when your mom and your dad got married. I was about 18 and she was about 21 and I thought she was the funniest, coolest, most wonderful woman in the world. The feeling only grew over the years. I am grateful to have known and loved her.

    h & k,
    Maryellen

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  9. Her laugh is the first thing that comes to mind every time I think of her. I love you and I will miss you little Tony (as I used to call her). Mauricio.

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  10. I just found out that our beloved Toni had passed and I'm shocked and saddened. Kelly, I'd like to thank you for sharing all your loving memories and photo's of her life. Some of those "are a riot!" as you noted she loved to say. Hearing her tell stories of her family always made my day as she loved all of you so much.

    She was one of my greatest friends ever and I will never forget her. We worked together at Old Republic for about 5 years and she made the job bearable. She loved my children as if they were her own. I'll miss our long conversations and her infectious laughter. I'm just sorry we didn't get to spend as much time with each other as I would have liked in the past year or so (I moved). But I don't think I'll ever have another friend as good as she was to me. I will miss her deeply.

    I love you Toni!

    Mary Van Vliet

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  11. Toni once sent me a small box of mini sand dollars that were perfect, not broken at all. This was when I was small, and I think she sent me them because when my family and I went to visit I wanted to find a sand dollar so bad on the beach and never succeeded. I loved those Sand dollars, and I think I have them somewhere still! I am thankful to have known her, and I am thankful for for her joy and laughter every time my family and I went to visit. She will definitely be missed!

    love,

    Jamie Ann Bateman (now Gomez)

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  12. I miss my dear sister so much. She would always call and say "Whatscha doing" and always end with "I Love You". My mind is full of so many things she did and times together. She would so often say how much she loved her house and loved living on McCornink St. As I think back over our lives together it is full of Fun,Laughter and Love. She was so quick with the jokes. SHE WAS A GOOD FRIEND TO HAVE and the best sister to have. Miss her so..Jan

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  13. I met Toni when I was 21 and she was my best friend for nearly 40 years. She was so different than me and any of the other people I had known in my life that I wasn't sure how to act. She showered me with love, then her family did it as well just because I was with Toni. Up until then I didn't even know there were people like that. I think I thought maybe if I watched closely and hung around I could be like her some day, but it didn't work that way. It was all so effortless for her - the loving, the kindness, the generosity, yet, there was a price to pay for being as sensitive as she was - she hurt very easily, if you intended to hurt her, and she was hurt very often. The amazing thing to me is that over and over again through time she would cry, and heal, and come back with more love. She never got mean or resentful, or responded with thoughts of getting even. Funny thing though, and I always marveled at this - being so fragile, she was at the same time unbreakable. She could be tough and resiliant when she wanted to be, and even then there was a softness about it. It amazed me! It's kindof a minor miracle that after all these years she still liked my jokes, and I never really got tired of ever hearing her voice. She taught me how to love, and how to feel, and she healed a lot of the wounds I carried around. I miss her very much, more than I can ever say, yet I am flooded with gratitude quite often these days just by the fact that we even met in the first place. I could not have had a better wife. I love her now as much as ever, and that's as much as I know how to love. Toni was and is now and forever in and around me. Lucky me. The Good Husbee, Dan

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  14. Toni was with me my whole life, I have special memories of Toni for each year that i can remember. From routine family get togethers to hanging out at Castle Beach; but most important always laughing, hugging, and telling each other "I love you" no matter what.
    Toni was beautiful and different, she had her own style and she was the best aunt I could have hoped for. How very lucky I am to have known Toni and experience Toni ways. After all, Toni was and always will be "My Rich Aunt from the City".

    I love you Toni Forever,

    Robin (Robo) x0x0x0x

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